Boys Keep Swinging
by LauralHilll
Summary: MWPP Era: Peter Pettigrew has discovered the Room of Requirement. Massive shagging ensues. Ships SB/OC and SB/PP. My first slash!
1. Sirius Black's Massive Snogfest

author's note: This was loosely inspired by _Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality_ (ID=5782108) by **LessWrong**. I highly recommend it!

**Chapter 1: Sirius Black's Massive Snogfest**

James Potter squinted at the parchment Black had handed him. "Bloody hell, how'm I supposed to read this without a magnifying charm?"

Sirius Black scowled. "You don't need to read the damn thing, just cast a Copying Charm or something."

"Right. No, wait, I've got a better idea." Potter unrolled the thirty-inch parchment flat on the Gryffindor common room floor, pulled out his wand, touched it to the parchment, then closed his eyes. He concentrated, biting his lip, and the parchment underwent a Transfiguration. It became cloth, grew to double its size, and all the names did as well.

"Perfect! No, wait, one more thing." Black waved his wand over the banner, and the names rearranged to make room for a slogan: CONGRATULATIONS SIRIUS BLACK / ON A MASSIVE SNOGFEST.

There weren't very many people in the common area, but they all looked up at the floating banner. It attached itself over the fireplace. The boys snorted and grinned, while the girls rolled their eyes. Most of them, anyway; the two sixth-year girls who noted their names on the banner had different reactions. Godiva Turpin shrieked and wailed and ran upstairs to the girls' quarters, while Nessa Finnigan walked right up to Sirius and slapped him in the face. "How dare you!" she whispered then walked out.

Black shrugged while Potter grinned. "Girls, eh?"

"Where's Remus and Peter?" asked Black.

"Still raiding the kitchens I'd assume. I've got a couple cases of butterbeer, will you bring them out? I'm gonna work on the entertainment. "

"You mean that awful noise that resembles cats mating?"

"Hey, a party's not a party without Bowie!"

Black sighed and went up to their rooms to fetch the drinks. He also grabbed his flask – it was too early for firewhiskey but he didn't want to have to go back for it. He couldn't believe Potter. Over the summer he had found out all of Lily Evans' favorite Muggle singers. While he agreed with Black about most of the noise, he was infatuated with David Bowie's music. He'd bought all of his albums and copied most of them into magical crystal form. The crystal played every one of Bowie's songs in random order, and pulsed and flashed to the beat as well. And when Black returned, the crystal was doing so on the mantle, and Lupin and Pettigrew had arrived with the food.

"Excellent, mates." He opened a few butterbeers and passed them to the other Marauders, then offered them to the other Gryffindors. They all gladly accepted. "What's the occasion?" asked Algie Longbottom.

"Black snogged the sixth year," replied Lupin.

Longbottom blinked. "What, the whole year? Every girl?"

"Correct," said Black.

"Except Lily Evans," Potter pointed out.

"True," Black conceded. He would never have done _that_ to a mate. Fortunately Lupin was dating a fifth-year Ravenclaw, Sandra Brocklehurst, so that wasn't an issue. As for Pettigrew, well.

"Well done mate! Cheers!" announced Longbottom, clinking his bottle against the others.

Black settled in on a couch next to Lupin and Potter, and Pettigrew sat at Potter's feet. "I can't believe you managed it, Sirius. I wouldn't even know how to get a girl to agree to kiss me."

"Well, if you happen to be me, you just say, Hullo, I'm Sirius Black. Fancy meeting me behind the greenhouse before Quidditch practice? For you, though, I'd rethink that strategy."

"Yeah I don't think that would work for anyone who wasn't Sirius Black," laughed Potter. "I personally prefer asking a girl to Hogsmeade, and if she lets you hold her hand on the way, suggest the tea shop." Potter had had a few girlfriends, but they seemed to be able to tell that he'd prefer to be with Evans, or at least, not with them.

_Speaking of Evans…_ She walked in just after Potter's advice to Wormtail. She stopped dead when she saw the boys with their butterbeers and the banner hanging high. "Sirius Black, you are a totally disgusting excuse for a human being," she declared after reading the names on the banner. "This is - are you joking? This is every single girl in our year except me!"

Potter stood up. "Black is a rotter, all right. Fancy a butterbeer?"

She shook her head. "There's a Prefects' meeting before curfew, then we have to do rounds. Lupin?"

He sighed and put his drink down. "I'll see you lads later." He followed her out. Potter's eyes followed Evans, and Pettigrew's eyes were on Potter. Black almost didn't notice, but when he did he almost dropped his bottle. Well, he supposed it wasn't so surprising, but -

Potter's voice broke into his thoughts. "Wish you'd lend me some of that mojo you got, Padfoot," he said morosely. "Evans won't even give me the time of day."

"I would, but, getting a bird to snog you is totally different than getting her to shag you."

"I don't want to SHAG her!" Everyone laughed at that, and Potter blushed. "Or – well, not JUST. I – hell, haven't you ever had a crush, Black?"

"Course I have, Prongs. But I think calling it a crush is a bit disingenuous, you've been mooning over Evans since third year."

Potter sighed. "You really think it's pointless?"

"If I thought it was pointless, her name would be on that banner too," he lied. Of course it was pointless, Evans was a wet hen with a stick up her arse. Gorgeous, sure, but so very uptight. Everyone knew she thought the Marauders were all major prats, and she probably wouldn't touch James with a ten-foot pole. But Black would never say something like that to Potter. He couldn't bear to upset him. "Let's get back to the subject of myself and my success, shall we?"

Black started describing what it had been like to kiss Cassandra Brown, the first girl in their year to start wearing a bra (all the way back in First Year). She had T&A for miles, and wasn't at all averse to letting Black get a few feels in. Most of the other girls who hadn't yet left, did during this speech, but one of them, fifth-year Sitar Patil, just smiled and raised her eyebrows at him. He winked at her a couple times.

And then Martin Perks, a seventh-year, walked in. He blanched when he saw the banner, but he quietly scanned the list and was obviously relieved. He grabbed a butterbeer and smiled at Sirius. Sirius smiled back at him. _Did he really think I'd be that terrible, to put the names of EVERYONE I snogged up?_ Black was well aware that most blokes were less than open about that sort of thing. Black personally didn't care who knew he was into guys as well as girls – it was seen as just another crazy thing he did – but he knew he was bigger and better at dueling than anyone who'd try anything because of it.

"Scuse me, got to hit the head," announced Potter. Pettigrew's eyes were still on him as he left.

"Hey Peter, could you come with me for a sec?"

Peter jumped. "Uh, sure, Sirius," he stammered, and followed him back to their room.

"What's up?" he asked.

"You fancy James, don't you."

Putting it point-blank seemed to stun Peter. "What – what – what the hell are you on about?"

"Oh don't act all innocent. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'd shag him if he leaned that way at all."

Peter blushed. "I don't – don't – what, you're sick, Black. Totally bent, you are. Just 'cos you'd shag anything that moved doesn't mean the rest of us are like it."

He shrugged. "Look, I won't tell him if you don't want me to."

"There's nothing to tell!" he insisted in a high-pitched squeal. "I like girls! GIRLS!"

_Protesting too much_, noted Black. "Sure, sure you do Wormtail, sorry I brought it up. Let's go back to the party then."

Potter was back by the time they returned. "Where'd you two go off?"

"Oh, come on, you know yer mum _likes_ two blokes at once," drawled Black. Pettigrew's jaw dropped while Potter howled with laughter.


	2. The Room of Requirement

Chapter 2: The Room of Requirement

Peter Pettigrew awoke with a massive hangover. He groaned as he sat up. Why oh why had he accepted Black's flask? His right hand reached over to his nightstand and - it wasn't there. He sat up, blinking, and realized he wasn't in his rooms, in fact. He thought he remembered being incredibly drunk and looking for the head, but for some reason he'd gone to the seventh floor instead of to the Gryffindor boys' bathroom.

Some reason, of course, being his fear of that Black would try to continue their conversation. Or, even worse, that he'd told James. So he'd gone elsewhere, down the stairs that went up (it being Saturday the 19th on an odd year) and stopped at the tapestry of the troll ballet. And then he nearly fell and the next thing he recalled, he was at a toilet, aiming very carefully. The toilet was still there, but it was rather far from the bed. The room was mostly empty otherwise, except for the nightstand with water on it on the _left_ side of the bed. He gratefully drank the entire glass, and used the pitcher to refill it. He thought for a minute, opened up the nightstand, and took the small vial out. He sniffed it cautiously, then drank it, and his headache disappeared. _Hangover Cure. What __**is**__ this place?_

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He may not have been the cleverest or most agile of the Marauders, but he wasn't bad with Transfigurations or Wards. He'd been the first to figure out how to transform into an Animagus. Granted, he'd stayed stuck a rat for the weekend, but still. He felt the wards in this room, and they were unbelievably complex, worse than the Gordian Knot at his Charms OWL. The room had Unplottable wards tied into Hogwarts' Unplottable wards, for one thing. There was plenty of other magic tied into the room, it apparently would give whoever found it whatever they wanted. Peter opened his eyes and walked out the room. Spells of that sort generally required asking thrice, so he walked by what should have been the entrance three times muttering, "I want a dance hall."

When he opened the entrance again, he was amazed. Not surprised as such, but there was a dance hall like the one his parents had described meeting at. Huge chandeliers coming down from the ceiling, intricate woodwork and gargoyles, and checkerboard tiles. Instrumental music played softly. He couldn't stop grinning.

:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:

Black glanced up from his food. "Merlin's balls, is that Wormtail doing the walk of shame?"

The rest of them looked up as well. There he was, wearing the same outfit he had at the party, although his hair had a freshly-washed damp gleam. And grinning. He sat down and said "Good morning."

"It's afternoon," said Lupin. "You'll note that the food is lunch rather than breakfast." They were all eating soup so they wouldn't hurl from their hangovers. It was true that butterbeer could get you drunk if you had enough, but it was even more true if it was spiked with Ogden's.

He wouldn't stop smiling. "Well, all right then," he said, and tucked away into some roast beef and pudding. The rest of them stared.

Potter spoke up. "How the hell can you eat that?"

"Had a hangover potion," Peter managed, his mouth full.

"You had a hangover potion that you've been hiding from us?" demanded Black.

He shook his head, but refused to elaborate till he was finished. The rest of them finished their soup and sipped tea, waiting.

Finally his plate was clean. "You'd all better come with me."

:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:

They'd been appropriately amazed. Lupin had pictured a bookstore, Black some sort of sex dungeon, and now Potter's room was similar to his bedroom at home, except with a full-size poster of Lilly Evans in a negligee, posing and blowing kisses. "Prongs," they moaned.

"This is bloody fantastic," said Black for the fifth time, bouncing on the bed. "Can you imagine how much sixty-nining we can get done now?" Black had learned about the sex act watching Muggle porn over the summer, and mentioned it at least twice a week. Peter pictured himself and James lying on the bed that way and felt his face go red.

"Wait a minute, I've got a better idea," said James. He walked to the wardrobe and leaned his head against it. He appeared to be concentrating. Peter made sure everyone else was also watching James and let his eyes stay on him. Suddenly he whipped open the wardrobe door. "It worked!" He walked back to the bed, clutching a piece of parchment triumphantly.

"What worked?" asked Lupin. James grinned and unfolded the parchment. "Map of Hogwarts."

They were speechless. Hogwarts was unplottable, and every effort the four had made to create a map had failed utterly. Something about the wards, figured Peter. But now, James had thought of it, and the room gave it to him.

"Bloody brilliant!" exclaimed Black, snatching the map up. "Look, it even has the people! These little dots, if you focus on them, they've got names! Merlin!"

They all stared at James. "You think of that too?" asked Lupin. At James' shy nod, he started an opera clap, which the others picked up. Peter tried not to clap any harder or faster than the others. "Bravo, well done Prongs!" Black put the map back on the bed.

"Well I just thought of everything I'd want in a map of Hogwarts," he said. "Knowing where the teachers are would be essential."

Peter traced his fingers along the map, then noticed something. "This room is missing!"

The other three exchanged glances. "Makes sense, I suppose. The room wouldn't want just anyone finding it."

"Nothing's perfect," agreed Black. "Although this room comes bloody close!"


	3. Black Gets Lucky, p1

author's note: Here there be [straight] snogging (SB/OC). Rated PG-13.

Chapter 3: Black Gets Lucky, p.1

Sirius Black smiled at Tocelyn Price while he walked three times in front of the entrance to the Room of Requirement (what the House Elves called it; even their magic didn't allow them in without permission). _I need a place to snog_, he thought firmly, and then opened the door. It was dark inside, with a few candles burning, and an enchanted violin playing. And of course, a giant bed in the center.

Unfortunately, the bed was occupied.

"MOONY!"

"Aw, shit." Lupin grabbed his and Brocklehurst's robes. "Scuse me a bit, please."

"Thought you said no one could get in here," sniffed Price.

"Let me talk to Lupin a bit, luv." The boys walked to the other end of the hall. "What the hell were you doing, Moony?"

Remus grinned and raised his eyebrows. "Really need to ask?"

"What? No! I meant - dammit, how the hell was I able to get in when you were already there?" They had definitely tested it - if someone was in the room already, you weren't supposed to be able to enter.

He shrugged. "I'm guessing the Room sensed you wanted it for the same reason I did."

Black tapped his chin. "I suppose that makes sense. Hmph."

"Yeah, look, we need to draw up a schedule. Prongs and Wormtail aren't going to want the Room as often as we are, but they'll probably want it sometimes."

"Right. Well. I guess you can have it for a bit longer now -" he looked at his watch - "say another hour?"

"I suppose." They shook hands, Lupin returned to the Room, and Black went to Price. "Well, as you probably figured out, Lupin got dibs for the next little while. So we could go kill some time elsewhere? Say, my room?" He pulled her hands to his chest and smiled at her, but she didn't melt at all.

"Aren't your OTHER roommates going to be in there?"

"They'll scoot for a bit if I ask nicely. So?"

She let go of one hand and squeezed his other. "All right then. But they're not allowed at all. I've no desire to let Potter or anyone else see anything."

Price was a bit shy, he reflected as they walked back. He slinked his arm around her waist, but she pushed it off her with a glare. She had absolutely refused to do anything in any sort of semi-public place. Which, at Hogwarts, was virtually all of them. The description of the Room of Requirement had convinced her, though. She was annoyed about having a frigid reputation, she had confided, and had no problems getting off with Black as long as they had total privacy. Whereas Black could care less who caught him, as long as it wasn't a teacher or Filch.

"Isn't it funny that boys can't go in the girls' rooms, but the other is fine?" he said as they climbed up Gryffindor Tower.

"I dunno, men do tend to rape more than women."

For once Black had nothing to say, till he got to the Fat Lady. "Pumpkin juice." He helped Price through, and she let him, so that was a good sign. "You're still all right with this, right?"

"Don't be silly. I can still hex you if I have any issues," she teased.

"Right then." He smiled and they went up to the boys' dorm, to the room he shared with Potter, Pettigrew and Lupin. Only Peter was there, but he was getting dressed.

"James is at Quidditch practice," he said. "He should be at least another thirty minutes."

It was always _James_ with Pettigrew. Not Potter and rarely Prongs. How could he deny it? "Well if you could be so kind as to tell him not to come back for a bit, I would be most appreciative."

"Sure, I was going to watch the practice anyway."

_Of course you were, Peter._ "Later then."

As soon as the door slammed shut, Black cast an alarm charm on the door. "In case they come back early. Now then." He led her to the bed. "Where were we?"

She finally smiled and pressed her lips against his. Her mouth was slightly open, and she had clearly at least done this bit before. Black gently probed her mouth with his tongue, rubbing against the roof of her mouth before wrapping his tongue around hers. She was a little surprised but pushed her tongue against his as well.

While they kissed, he snaked one hand into her hair. With his other hand he loosened the top of her robes. He cupped her breast and attempted to pinch her nipple through her bra. "Mmmmmmmmm" she moaned, and her body went slack against his arms. He broke apart from her lips and put a trail of kisses down her neck to her collarbone, where he bit her, hard. She gasped out loud - in a good way - and he pulled her robes off a bit more. His erection was almost painful. She helped, reaching her arms back to shake them loose. He went ahead and removed his as well, then unbuttoned her blouse while he kissed her collarbone more. She unhooked her bra. Sirius moaned, "How lovely," and cupped both her tits.

His lips made their way down the right one first. He tongued her softly around the nipple, and the noises she made encouraged him. Also, the fact that she was now laying down, blouse totally unbuttoned, bra hanging loose. He licked her nipple then began sucking on it. With his right hand he caressed the other one, pinching the left nipple gently. She was still moaning and gasping and occasionally muttering "Merlin!" By varying his sucking speed he could change the pitch of her noises. He then switched, his mouth now on her left nipple, hand on her right nipple. This time there was very little gentleness.

"Oh MERLIN!" she gasped when he bit the nipple. Not too hard, not yet. She broke away for a minute, though, and pulled off her shirt and bra. "Beautiful," he breathed, and meant it. There was nothing hotter than a topless girl who wanted your hands and mouth on her tits. After admiring the view for a minute, his head was pulled back to her chest. He obliged, lying on top of her, sucking at her nipples again, licking, sucking, moaning. She started thrusting against him. He gasped; as if his cock wasn't rock-solid enough! He definitely had no problems obliging that, and ground his hips against hers. He pulled his head back to concentrate on the dry humping. "So beautiful," he whispered, his hands squeezing her tits again, pinching her nipples again.

They had talked a little bit about sex, enough to let him know that she'd had one summer fling with a Muggle that was basically awful, and he was determined to show her that that was an aberration, that sex could be amazing and wonderful. But Quidditch practice would be ending soon, and they were going to have the Room of Requirement soon enough, and -

As if thinking of it had been a charm, the alarm went off. "Fucking hell," spat Sirius.

"It's just me," announced Remus. "You guys can go back to the room."


	4. Black Gets Lucky, p2

_Author's notes: rated NC-17 for hetsex. OC POV. Don't worry, the slash is going up Monday. _

Chapter 4: Black Gets Lucky, p.2

Tossy Price was rather flushed as Sirius led her back up seven flights to what he called "The Room of Requirement." She had initially had a few qualms about this rendezvous, but the bedroom session had rather well erased them. Her summer fling hadn't paid nearly that much attention to her desires!

A bad night, that was. But what else would one expect from a Muggle? Not that she was prejudiced, she had nothing against non-purebloods, but one had to admit that Muggles_ were not Wizards_. She'd hoped a slightly older Muggle would at least have some idea of what to do in the bedroom, but he really hadn't. At first the experience had turned her off sex totally, but after a month or so she couldn't help wondering how it would be different with a wizard. Her roommates said it varied, but one thing they all agreed on: for a no-strings good time, Sirius Black would deliver. Tossy had been working up the courage to even talk to him, but last week _he_ approached _her_. Just for some kissing, but it seemed only natural to ask after that. He had actually been taken somewhat aback by her request, but after explaining, he agreed, as long as he could find a private place.

And yesterday she received a note during dinner. "_Found the perfect spot. Busy tomorrow? Black._" Not exactly conducive, but he'd made up for it today. Walking up and down the stairs after that first bit, her legs rubbed together and she wished she'd worn a skirt instead of slacks. Or perhaps nothing but knickers under her robe would have been better. Oh well, he'd surely know what to do anyway.

Back on the seventh floor, Sirius walked back and forth three times, then opened the door. It was almost identical to how it had been before, except, thank Merlin, no Remus and girlfriend at all. The soft candlelight and violin music was perfect, and Sirius pulled her into his arms. "Hm, where were we now?" He kissed her deeply, and she felt herself get even wetter.

They removed robes and tops - she hadn't bothered to rehook her bra - and she pulled him to the bed. He moved his mouth all over her breasts and nipples again, and she breathed, "I think – we were – about there." His hands were now moving all over her upper body, and before she knew it, rubbing her slacks against her crotch. He was grinding against her knee, as well. Feeling _that _against her made her start to panic. _Merlin, that's - that's enormous! How on Earth could he possibly fit it inside?_

Sirius noted her going rigid, and pulled back. "Something wrong luv?"

"I - I don't - "

He sat up and pulled her forward, pushed her head between her knees. "Here, take a few deep breaths. It's ok to be nervous, even if you aren't a virgin."

She sat back up. "That's not it, not - exactly. I'm just - well -"

"We can go as slow as you need to," he promised. "We've all the time in the world. Well, all right, four hours till dinner, but that's more than enough."

She sighed, then looked away. "The bloke I shagged over the summer was just - a lot smaller, that's all."

He chuckled at that. "Really? I always thought I was dead average." He took her hand and guided it to his zippered crotch_._ "Six inches, honest. Not really too big, I don't think."

"How many erect penises have you seen, then?" she challenged.

"This month, or in my entire Hogwarts career?" He pulled her hand up and down till she took the hint and began stroking _it_ on her own. "Mmmmmmm. I am bisexual, Tossie. That's not just something I say to shock people. I fancy blokes and birds both. And it's bloody easier to get naked in boys' dorms, as you are now aware." He pushed her hand onto his fly, and she unzipped it and loosened his jeans. He wriggled them off and pulled her to the side of him. "But I've seen girls freak out at their first glimpse of a hard cock. I don't take it personally. First time I saw girl bits scared me too. Course, that was 'cos I was five and thought her willie'd been chopped off."

She giggled at that. "I'm not afraid of - hard cock." She whispered the last word.

"Good, it's nothing to be frightened of. I think it helps to get to know the cock before the sex. It's silly to just rush through to the old in-out, when there's all these parts to play with!" He reached to her slacks and undid them as well. She slid out of them nervously, hoping he didn't find her belly and arse too fat. "Mmmm, you really are gorgeous like this, do you know that?" He pushed gently on her mound, then slowly moved his fingers into her knickers. She started moaning softly, and cautiously reached into his pants. She found it hard to believe he was _average_, as she wrapped her hands around it and gently went up and down on it.

"Mmmm, you can grab a bit harder if you like." She gripped firmly, and he moaned in response. "That's it, mmmmm."

It was hard to concentrate on her own hand movements with his hand and fingers playing with her folds. "Merlin, you're so _wet,"_ and she became even wetter than she thought possible at his words. But every time she stopped the handjob, he stopped as well. So she tried not to stop.

"I've never been, um, fingered."

"Oh?" He suddenly twisted his wrist and then he was _inside_ her, two fingers in her pussy. "D'you like it?"

She moaned and squeezed his cock even tighter in response as he thrust his fingers in and out. He started rubbing his thumb along the slit, to the top, oh FUCK, her clit -

"Guess that's a yes." He brought his other hand down to rub her clit as he fingered her. No, he finger-_fucked_ her, at least three of his fingers sliding in and out. She bucked her hips against his hand as she murmured, "fuck fuck fuck merlin fuck merlin fuck fuck fuck -"

"What are you trying to say," he whispered in her ear. "You want me to fuck you?" He leaned over and bit her nipple again, and she let out a small scream. "Not with my hand?"

She shook her head, and pulled down his pants, "With this."

"Say it."

"I want - you to - fuck me - with this."

"With what?" He bit her other nipple.

"WITH YOUR COCK!"

"Well, all right, then," he said, pulled down her knickers, then picked her legs up to his shoulders. He nudged his cock gently into her pussy; fortunately the fingerplay had loosened her up quite a bit, and it fit rather easily. He pushed all the way into her and moaned, "Oh FUCK your tight little cunt feels good, I'm going to fuck you so good..."

She could barely speak as he moved ever so slowly, up and down, but she managed to whisper, "Faster."

"What's that?"

"Faster!"

"One second," he replied, then cast some spell with his wand, and put it back down. Then he really began the fucking, hands on her hips, ramming into her, hard and fast. "Oh yeah - oh - yeah - oh - yeah," he chanted.

She couldn't believe how fantastic it felt to have him slamming into her, balls slapping against her cunt. She felt like she was riding a wave, and then suddenly, it was higher and higher and higher - and then it broke, and she screamed obscenities she didn't even know she knew. He was going even harder and faster and then he said, "Oh MERLIN I'm going to cum!" and he pulled out his cock and it shot cum on her belly up to her chest.

"Uhhhhh fuck," she moaned.

"No shit," he agreed, then cast a Scourgify to clean her up.


	5. Is That A Wormtail In Your Pocket?

_Author's note: last chapter and Peter/Sirius._

Chapter 5: Is That A Wormtail In Your Pocket?

Black had insisted they all go into the Room of Requirement, which was decorated for a party, complete with Bowie. "What's this about now?" asked Potter. Black pointed to the banner. "CONGRATULATIONS MOONY ON SHAGGING A BIRD/WELL DONE MATE!"

Lupin was not very amused, but he sighed and sat on one of the two sofas. "Really, Sirius?"

"Really." He poured four careful shots of whiskey. "Now, for details."

"Details?" He sipped slowly at his drink, as did Potter, while Black and Pettigrew slammed theirs and went for seconds. "I don't really think _you _need details."

"Moooooo-ny! I told you about my first time!" This was a lie, but he _had _told the gang about his second time, and third, and fourth, and now fifth – since none of those were with his cousin.

"Yes, Black, you told us everything about every girl you shagged. Why do you need to hear about my awkward sex?"

Black couldn't believe it. The whole reason he told his friends was so they'd know what it was like to sleep with a certain girl. It wasn't as if any of them would be able to do Lupin's girlfriend, after all, so why wouldn't he let them know? Unless it was really as bad as he was acting. "Was it really as bad as you're acting?"

Lupin sighed and shook his head. "I just don't want to talk about Sandra like that, all right?"

Potter grinned. "Don't worry, Padfoot. I plan to visit the 'Shagging Room' very soon."

Black snorted. "Who with?"

"I'll think of someone," he said.

He snorted again. "What about you, Peter? Gonna be needing time on the schedule?" They'd began working on the schedule before Quidditch practice had ended, but obviously if Prongs was going up they'd need to change it again.

Peter replied, "Sure, why not. Can I get Wednesday nights?"

"Fine with me."

"And me," said Lupin. "Look, as much as I appreciate the loss-of-virginity party theme, I do have to get ready for Prefect rounds, and it is Sunday night." He finished his whiskey and put his glass down.

Potter did likewise. "Some of us have early morning Quidditch practice," he apologized, and he and Lupin left.

Sirius watched Peter watch James leave. "More whiskey?" he asked Peter.

"I suppose." He held out his glass, and this time Black filled it almost to the top.

"You know, Wormtail, you aren't really that bad-looking a bloke," he said. Not that he held a candle to himself or James, but Peter and Remus probably were in the same league. "If Remus can get a girlfriend, you can too."

He almost missed Peter's second take. "I guess so."

"But then, you don't really fancy girls, do you?"

Peter just glared at him, then tossed back the entire glass of whiskey. "You better shut up about that."

"I know how to keep a secret. Why'd'ya think I always talk about girls so much?"

"Because James and Remus like girls."

"Ok, well, there is that," Black conceded. "The first time I mentioned even kissing a bloke, they got all weird about it, so I barely mentioned it since." He filled Peter's glass again, then finished his own for another refill. He was definitely beginning to feel a bit drunk.

"I don't really want to have a crush on James," Peter suddenly burst out.

Black was just drunk enough to get annoyed. Really, really annoyed. He didn't exactly know why, but ... "Then just wink and smile at some other bloke in the showers."

"I just don't know what to do," he said morosely, staring at his cup, as if Black hadn't said a word.

Black couldn't believe how incredibly angry he was. He also couldn't believe that he walked over to Peter, grabbed his whiskey away, and kissed him furiously on the mouth. He tasted of whiskey and defeat, but it didn't take him long at all to kiss back. Or to pull Black onto the couch with him.

_Oh, he can't stop staring at James! He has such a crush on James! Well forget about James_, he thought furiously. _I'm a million times sexier than James is, I'm taller and have better hair, and I'm a Black!_

He fumbled at Peter's robes, who gladly removed them himself. Black returned the favor, then resumed kissing him with passion, heat and fury. His hands were all tangled in Black's hair. His kisses were, in return, hungry. So were his hands, which were already at Black's jeans. For the second time today, someone was unzipping his jeans and handling his cock. If he hadn't already come earlier he thought he might've now. "Sixty-nine!" he barked.

Peter stopped and pulled away from him. "Wh- what?"

"I've yet to sixty-nine with someone. Come on," he urged, pulling off all of his clothing. "Nox Lumos!" he cast before putting down his wand.

Peter took his clothing off a bit more tentatively. "You know I've never -"

"It's not difficult," Black cut off. "Lay on the couch." Peter did so, and Black crawled on top of him. He quickly realized that with their height difference, he'd have to arch his back quite a bit. "Just do what I do, more or less." He took Peter's cock into his hands. He'd never actually watched Peter wank in the shower, unlike with some other boys, so he was surprised to discover that his cock was actually rather larger than his own. Maybe not quite as long, but definitely wider. "My, you're packing away a nice fat prick, aren't you Wormtail?"

Peter had grabbed his own cock and was giving it a rather good _handjob_. "I guess so," he murmured, then gasped as Black stuffed it down his throat. He'd practiced for ages to get rid of his gag reflex, and the sounds Peter was making were very rewarding. He ran his tongue around the base, flicked to his balls, then let the other boy thrust in and out of his throat. Face-fucking. Unfortunately the poor kid couldn't manage two things at once, so his own blowjob wasn't yet really happening, his cock was just gripped at the base while Peter sucked at the knob end. Not that bad, but not a proper blowjob.

Fortunately it was only about five minutes before Peter moaned loudly, wordlessly, and came. His cock was far enough down his throat that Black had no trouble swallowing, and he stopped bobbing while he waited for Peter's body to become still again. He climbed off him, then said, "Let's try it this way now," and guided him to the floor on his knees while Black sat at the edge of the couch. Peter eagerly went back to sucking on his cock, now free of distraction, much better than a newbie should be. _Note to self: get more blowjobs from blokes._

"Shitfuck, Peter," he gasped, not exactly aware of which was Peter's hands and which was his mouth anymore, "you suck cock like a thousand-Galleon hooker!" This only encouraged him to suck harder and bob faster and squeeze his prick and balls and _oh SHIT_ -

"Oh FUCK I'm coming!" and Peter sucked and swallowed his load like a greedy cocksucker, like he was starving and would never eat anything as delicious as Black's prick and spunk. He couldn't take anymore, and gently pushed him away. "Merlin, enough."

"Was I good enough?"

"Merlin, yes," he replied. "Lumos." They got dressed in silence, still relatively drunk. Black dug around and found the hangover potion, and tossed a vial to Peter. "Catch."

As Black closed the door, Peter leaned in and kissed his forehead. "What are you doing Wednesday?"

"Definitely not telling James and Lupin about this," said Black.

_And neither of them noticed in the shadows opposite the corridor, Severus Snape..._


	6. notes

Notes: Thanks for favorites! Please check out "And Brotherhood", if you want to find out about Sirius losing his virginity, and see his brother's reaction to that.

For a darker account - and some Peter info - check out the completed sequel, "Teenage Wildlife".


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